1. Have the knowing
The greatest thing a believer should discover is the purpose of his/her calling as a believer.
When the purpose of your calling is not known you are liable to abuse in every other aspect of your life.
We should know that the essence of our calling is to conform to the image of Christ and attaining this goal is very critical to our success in life.
This goal can be achieved with or without things that will pass away like marriage or education.
This means that it is a self-sufficient calling that does not need earthly support.
This calling is so powerful that all other things are secondary and all other things including marriage must be handled in view of our eternal calling. (2Timothy 1:1-12, Romans 8: 28-30)
Thus, growing up spiritually should not be because you want to know whom to marry. Your focus must be on getting to know the Lord for the sake of your high calling.
This is important because if your motive is impure, you will not arrive at the right destination. Our growth in Christ is very critical because it affect both temporal and eternal purpose of God for us (1Timothy 1:8).
The simplest definition for growing up is, knowing and attaining your eternal purpose, which is to conform to the image of Christ.
What conforms to the image of Christ is our soul and conforming comes as a result of hearing and obeying the revelation of Jesus Christ by the help of the Holy Spirit.
As you conform to his image, your soul grows up to know the will of God in all things. So at this stage the Lord helps your soul develop spiritual senses, which enables you relate properly with the anointing within.
The anointing within are the activities of our spirit with the Holy Spirit to bring us into awareness of things that pertain to us. A growing believer is one who is constantly growing in the knowledge of the anointing within.
When our relationship with the Lord is properly developed, we come to the point of easy cooperation with the holy unction. This will enable us know who and when to marry.
2. Judge Rightly
It is also good to know that one of the abilities that God blesses His people with is the ability to discern men.
In the Old Testament, we see this play out in Abraham and the angels (Genesis 18:1-5), Lot and the angels (Genesis 19:1), the Shulamite woman and Elisha (2 Kings 4:9).
The more profound demonstration of this ability is present with New Testament believers by the witness of the Spirit within.
Many times, you know when you meet a believer or a man of God by the witness of the Spirit within. This is regardless of whether or not he has signs and wonders following his ministry.
This is besides the very sure way of testing ministers, which the Lord Himself gave us, “you shall know them by their fruits.
Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?” (Matthew 7:16). This means you can tell who any is by observing the fruits that their lives generate.
Is he leading you away from the Lord or towards Him? Is he bearing fruits of righteousness or otherwise?
All these should also be done under the submission to Spiritual Authority (Your Pastor).